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1.
You take your knocks You get your black and blues You scrape your knees You wear your fightin' shoes You swing your hips You tape and gird your wrists You own the night, with both your fuckin' fists Bruised and Bandaged... Girls in distress Bruised and Bandaged... Girls in undress Pull up your socks And straighten out your skirt Put on your helmet Take off your fuckin' shirt Prowl the night And hurt the rotten jerks Treat me bad And do your fuckin' worst Bruised and Bandaged... Girls in distress Bruised and Bandaged... Girls in undress
2.
Can't tell you how to live your life You're the master of your fate You'll fuck who you want to fuck Now your monthly friend is late Up in the morning throwing up You hope your mom don't see 'Cause you just fucked up your life And you're only thirteen Have An Abortion, Have An Abortion, Have An Abortion Kill the mistake inside... Have An Abortion, Have An Abortion, Have An Abortion Hope you enjoyed the ride... Your vagina's swelling up From all the fun you had Sneaky late-night tuckings in From your dear old Dad Mommy sleeps in the room next door Daddy drinks his drink The next morning Dad wakes up Wondering why does his cock stink Have An Abortion, Have An Abortion, Have An Abortion Kill the mistake inside... Have An Abortion, Have An Abortion, Have An Abortion Hope you enjoyed the ride... Now that's it the deed is done Daddy paid the bill This is the only thing you have To prove your life is real Pack your bags you leave tonight Take your boyfriend too You had another blissful night Now you know what you gotta do Have An Abortion, Have An Abortion, Have An Abortion Kill the mistake inside... Have An Abortion, Have An Abortion, Have An Abortion Hope you enjoyed the ride...
3.
No hopes, no dreams, no job, no means No dough, no friends, no future just dead ends No savings, no love, no help from up above No justice, no peace, no drive, and no release We're Broken Bastards, broken fucks Broke in spirit, broke in luck Broken present, broken past Broken future, kiss my ass No money, and no cars, no women, and no stars No heroes, no more, no game, no fuckin' score No glory, no goals, no reason, no roles No hygiene, no plus, no manners, it's all a bust We're Broken Bastards, broken fucks Broke in spirit, broke in luck Broken present, broken past Broken future, kiss my ass We're Broken Bastards, broken jerks Don't got no money cause we don't work Broken present, broken past Broken future, kiss my ass No hopes, no dreams, no job, no means No dough, no friends, no future just dead ends No savings, no love, no help from up above No justice, no peace, no drive, and no release We're Broken Bastards, broken cunts We're fuckin' losers, we're fuckin' runts Broken present, broken past Broken future, kiss my ass We're Broken Bastards, broken jerks Don't got no money cause we don't work Broken present, broken past Broken future, kiss my ass ...We'll never prosper, we'll never win ...We failed once and we'll fail again ...We'll never get it and we'll never be in ...Don't wanna be where we have been ...We don't fuckin' cry or fuckin' whine ...We know our fates are yours and mine ...Don't blame it on some grande design ...Life's just a motherfucking waste of time We're Broken Bastards, broken fucks Broke in spirit, broke in luck Broken present, broken past Broken future, kiss my ass We're Broken Bastards, broken jerks Don't got no money cause we don't work Broken present, broken past Broken future, kiss my ass We're Broken Bastards, broken dicks We got no values cause we got tricked Broken present, broken past Broken future, kiss my ass We're Broken Bastards, broken cunts We're fuckin' losers, we're fuckin' runts Broken present, broken past Broken future, kiss my ass
4.
Hardwired fucker with my cock in my hand Lookin' for a good time, don't got no plan I don't wanna chat or be your friend I just wanna get drunk again. Get outta my way, I'll bust your chops I fucked your girl, so go call the cops I'm fuckin' nuts, I got no soul I'm a slave to booze and rock an' roll... ...Fight or Fuck, Fight or Fuck I'm ready to die, I'm ready to rock ...Fight or Fuck, Fight or Fuck I'm ready to die, I'm ready to rock Dirty imbecile with nothing to prove Nothing to gain and nothing to lose Room's spinning 'round, it's time to brawl Fuck I need more alcohol. Blacking out, it's time to go Where the fuck am I? I don't know Gotta get the hell outta this dive It's okay, I'm good to drive. ...Fight or Fuck, Fight or Fuck I'm ready to die, I'm ready to rock ...Fight or Fuck, Fight or Fuck I'm ready to die, I'm ready to rock Hundred ten, burning down the road She's sucking my cock, I blow my load I kick her out of the moving car And turn around back to the bar. ...Fight or Fuck, Fight or Fuck I'm ready to die, I'm ready to rock ...Fight or Fuck, Fight or Fuck I'm ready to die, I'm ready to rock
5.
Broke 01:58
We waste our time on women we waste our time on drugs we sold our souls to Satan We lost the game of love We missed our fortunes promised we missed the best for us We killed our fucking chances We missed the fucking bus Don't got no cash to show you Don't got no want for work Don't care what becomes of us That's why we're fucking BROKE We drink and dream of chances We weep and cut a line We puff and pass and mourn and We're running out of time Our lives are fucking bullshit Our fate is fucking sealed Our name is fucking wasted Our death is no big deal Don't got no ways to show you This band's a fucking joke Don't care what becomes of us That's why we're fucking BROKE
6.
DIE! DIE! DIE! SO YOU CAN COME BACK! Razor blade wrist... Suicide kissed Television bath... Homicidal wrath Poison cake... Brain-fry bake Shotgun face... Dead ended race Pistol head... Instantly dead Shoelace hang... Death song sang Train tracks wait... Tempting fate Graveyard sleep... Six feet deep Electric chair... Terminal stare Drano shake... This ain't no fake Bridge jump... Over the hump Auto crash... No insurance no cash
7.
3 Finger Joe 01:23
Vicodin and iodine Soothe and heal my ills Boss's new drinking pal damn lucky he ain't killed Pass out, hot asphalt Something ain't right Wake up, remember, sweet ladies dressed in white Silk sheets and perky tits This ain't so bad Almost makes me forget fingers I used to have They call me Joe, Three Finger Joe Shake hands with danger Three Finger Joe
8.
Geek Love 04:58
COME DOWN TO THE FREAKSHOW!! COME DOWN TO THE FREAKSHOW!! COME SEE ARTURO!! COME DOWN TO THE FREAKSHOW!!
9.
Sick 03:02
These lyrics are terrible and I'm ashamed.
10.
Speedfucker 04:00
Hay baby, what's your sign? Let's go, your place or mine? Ooh girl you look so good Best in the neighborhood I'll get you into bed My cock is turning red Ooh girl let's get to work OH SHIT I"M GONNA SPURT! SPEEDFUCKER GO!! Oh shit, I'm gonna blow! So sorry it's so soon! SPEEDFUCKER BOOM!! SPEEDFUCKER BLAST!! I'll shoot it on your ass! Before it's even in! SPEEDFUCKER SIN!! SPEEDFUCKER WIN!! Ooh girl you are so hot Be glad for what you got Before you throw a fit Go wash that off your tit Sorry you didn't cum But that's it I am done By the time you get back I'll be taking a nap SPEEDFUCKER GO!! Oh shit, I'm gonna blow! So sorry it's so soon! SPEEDFUCKER BOOM!! SPEEDFUCKER BLAST!! I'll shoot it on your ass! Before it's even in! SPEEDFUCKER SIN!! SPEEDFUCKER WIN!! **WOO! Oh my god, girl. THAT was some amazing sex... for me, not so much for you, and I am sorry. You should do that sinkful of dirty dishes on your way out. And leave me $20 on the dresser because I gotta buy groceries this week. But baby, remember I love ya. I LOVE YA!** SPEEDFUCKER GO!! Oh shit, I'm gonna blow! So sorry it's so soon! SPEEDFUCKER BOOM!! SPEEDFUCKER BLAST!! I'll shoot it on your ass! Before it's even in! SPEEDFUCKER SIN!! SPEEDFUCKER WIN!!
11.
Love... is a many splendored thing And love... it makes the birds take wing And love... it turns the dark to light And love... it turns the black to white So I've been told but do not buy... My heart is dead and I'll tell you why... There is no love that I can see... That gets me where I want to be. I'M DRUNK!! BEYOND LOVE!! Love... it makes the world go 'round And love... turns upside down your frown And love... the cherry on the pie And love... the cumshot in your eye So I've been told but do not care, When it comes to love, I'll take a beer I'll have a drink, I'll take a shot A drink's better than what you got Take your love and keep your bliss I'd rather kiss you with my fist It's beer fifteen and I am pissed I'M DRUNK!! BEYOND LOVE!! **We're drunk. That's what we do.** **And we fail. So that you don't have to.** I'm gonna say so listen here, When it comes to love, I'll take a beer Have a drink, I'll take a shot A drink's better than what you got Take your love and keep your bliss I'd rather kiss you with my fist It's beer fifteen and I am pissed I'M DRUNK!! BEYOND LOVE!!

about

Recorded over two days in the summer of 2009 at Studio F in Pittsburgh, PA.

credits

released December 19, 2014

Dave Hated - guitar
Ian Kendrick - drums
Porno Batman - vocals
Alan Smithee - bass

Engineered and mixed by Douglas Appel of Black Shamrock Music, LLC.
Music by David A. Bole Jr., lyrics by Joel Pavuk, concepts by Mark Menold.
Sexophone courtesy of Kinkus.
Album artwork by Zombietown Productions.

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The Botched Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

When rage, booze, failure, and feces are balled together and thrown into a burning circus train car barreling down the tracks at a thousand miles a minute, the musical glory of The Botched are the results.

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